What is in a Facebook status message?

I’ve recently noticed that a lot of people seem to spend a considerable amount of time thinking of clever or witty Facebook status updates. When I first started using FB, I figured that you could learn something about a person by their updates. Now I see that they represent what individuals what you to think about them, and not so much about what they’re really up to. There’s the chick who always writes about the parties she’s going to, the guy who needs to let you know about the next concert he’s just dying to go to, the jilted lover who tries to send a message to his or her ex via updates, and so on. We all see updates like this on a regular basis.

This led me to wondering what my updates said about me. Here’s a list of the last 12 updates I’ve posted:

1. Matthew Fox is observing rule #1.
2. Matthew Fox appears to be going in to the commercial confectionery business
3. Matthew Fox lives by the code of Wayne Brady.
4. Matthew Fox is a dollar menu millionaire.
5. Matthew Fox thinks Ms. Honey is fierce!
6. Matthew Fox is on marshmallow batch #4.
7. Matthew Fox was all like ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap!
8. Matthew Fox is on a train back to Manhattan
9. Matthew Fox has escaped from Manhattan!
10. Matthew Fox and his purple sweater are going home.
11. Matthew Fox thinks unicorns are pretty badass.
12. Matthew Fox has a 95% chance of being electrocuted at work tomorrow.

From the list above, we can see that I commute, have a job with certain risks, like making sweets, and most importantly, I’ll choke a bitch if needed. I’m just kidding… But not really.

What do your updates say about you?